Where the hell did I leave off? Probably somewhere between making sense and talking incessantly about my extremely privileged life. My therapist DOES always tell me I should be more neutral.
I think I left off explaining my maternity leave and touching maybe on how insanely backward the United States is in it’s policies (or lack thereof). NEWSFLASH: The US government contacted me after having read my account and has now granted every postpartum mother 365 days of paid maternity leave. Oh and every father gets 6 weeks paid paternity leave.
So I had maternity leave and went back to work and got laid off and blah and blah and blah you all know the sob story. I got to play Stay at Home Mom for 5 months and I loved it. I got this inane amount of satisfaction running our house. I loved doing the laundry, putting it away, doing the dishes after cooking and planning our meals and paying the bills and taking care of Norah’s needs. Seriously, I did. I do!
Then unemployment ran out, and through some insane stroke of fate I found a job. I started last Monday- working full time for a bit until part time will work. And I was so nervous and so sure I’d make some mistake that I collapsed into a bundle of nerves.
And then ended up kinda, well, loving it. I felt (feel) ready to leave my baby. I felt (feel) proud that I can help provide for her and confident that she is okay without my constant presence. More than that I feel like she is confident. She’s crawling up a storm, she’s babbling, she can tell us when she’s happy. She so clearly can communicate that she’s okay.
I didn’t feel any of that when I returned to work after 8 weeks of leave.
I didn’t intend for this to be another diatribe on the merits/downfalls of the American system on maternity leave, but somehow I just kept talking and it did.
In short (ha!), I’m very happy. I love the work and I love anticipating seeing Norah’s precious face every afternoon. I love chewing on those delicious cheeks and asking her about her day. I am loving this season of life.